I was so turned on. Not out of control exactly but nearly. I scared myself, I guess. And afterwards – well, I just felt awful.”“It sound like you did exactly the right thing, then. Sometimes I think that tops need a safe word too.”“I didn’t mean to upset Lionel, it really wasn’t his fault. It was just that I was rougher than I ever thought I could be. And, well,...”“And...”“Well, I made use of him. Grabbed him and just, well, used his face. He must have been shocked.”“Possibly. But I suspect that he was as excited by it as you were at the time. Probably more.”“And now I don’t know what to do. I promised you I would treat Lionel fairly but if I feel like that over something so simple, well, I don’t know if I can carry on, or even if I should. And, I suppose, I surprised myself. I could never have thought that I would get pleasure out of something like that, of having him helpless and sobbing from being punished by me. Even if he did deserve it, should I have enjoyed it?”“I’m not sure. Why do you have to mix?’ ‘You don’t just like red,’ I explained. ‘You breathed life into it, put a picture of a very specific red into my mind. So that’s the shade of red I will create for you.’ I mixed and tweaked for a few minutes. Suddenly she gasped softly. ‘That’s the red you love, isn’t it?’ I whispered. It really was a stunning shade – just enough of the yellow and sienna into the mix to take the red a tiny bit toward orange, a fiery mix that walked the line between bold and sensual. The shade matched the feeling her smoldering eyes drove into my soul every time she looked at me. She didn’t take time to answer, instead she dipped her brush immediately into the paint and prepared to attack the canvas. But she stopped short of the first brush stroke. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she giggled. ‘I’ve never done anything more than ‘paint-by-numbers’ in my life.’ ‘Remember, it’s about feel. Close your eyes for a moment and feel the image inside you, just dying to come out.’ Her.
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